Life is not about how you feel, it’s about what needs to be done. 

How to be a Good Grandparent

Being a good grandparent can be an important and delicate subject.  Some grandparents take right to their new role, while others watch carefully and adjust slowly to the new role.

It may be easier if you are the grandparents to your daughter and son-in-law’s children because daughters are more apt to see things the way they were taught when they grew up.  One may not have that convenience and acceptance if you are the grandparent of the son and daughter-in-law.

Think about these ten factors when attempting to improve your role as a grandparent.

1. If this is your first grandchild, let the new parents know you are new at this and you have to learn to be a good grandparent like they are learning about parenting.

2.  Keep the lines of communication open and express to the parents you want to please them and to gently let you know if you are doing something that they don’t approve of.  Express to them that you would not intentionally do something to upset them.

3. Respect the parents’ wishes. You had your time as a parent and things were done the way you wanted them done with your children, so now is their time.  Over the years, you may have learned where you (they) can do better, but be patient and let them figure it out.

4. As much as possible, try not to interfere with the parents’ ways. They have to learn too, so let them have that experience.  Each set of parents have their own expectations about how they are going to offer the “perfect” life to their child.  Usually if parents want to know, they will ask you; otherwise, it is a good rule to keep quiet.

5.  Treat each grandchild as an individual.  They will all be different and have their own set of strengths and weaknesses.  Accept them for who they are.

6.  Rely on simple activities, especially with young children.  The greatest gift you can give your grandchildren is time and to be there for them and around them.

7.  Do your best to give each child and /or family the same amount of time and attention, so all family members will feel important.

8. Use your time with your grandchildren to build memories.  These don’t have to be extensive, drawn out activities.  It may be as simple as taking them for a walk or to the park to play.

9.  Remember your activities by taking photos.  There are endless possibilities now with email and online photo galleries to share photos.

10. If grandparent expectations have been high and situations and opportunities don’t meet your dreams, keep trying.  As parents get older, they get wiser and realize more completely the importance of including grandparents on both sides and other family members in the lives of their children.  

Being a grandparent can be the best of both worlds.  You have a chance to do things better after all the wisdom you have acquire from your mistakes as parents.

When the fun time is over, grandparents can go home and rest and parents will take over from there and stay up through the night if need be!

If you don’t have the blessing of being a grandparent, you can always be a “grandparent” to children that have grandparents that live far away and don’t get to visit often. You can be an influence for good in all children’s  lives.

The greatest trait loving grandparents can possess is to be humble and learn each day and submit to the will of the parents even if you disagree with the decisions they are making.  If it does not involve the serious welfare of the child, everything will probably turn out fine.

The lasting gift you can give your grandchildren is to love them unconditionally and cease the moments that are yours in this wonderful existence with its wonderful plan for family life. 

Please comment on our Blog about the activities you enjoy with your grandchildren!

Betty Gustin

Steve & Betty

Proud Grandparents

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